Trivia & Funnies

/Trivia & Funnies
Trivia & Funnies 2019-04-10T14:13:11+00:00

Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid

  • The only reason you’re awake at 4 AM is indigestion.

  • 8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in.”

  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you ?”

  • You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.

  • Your back goes out more than you do.

  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

  • You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

  • You are proud of your lawn mower.

  • Your best friend is dating someone half their age

    ….. and isn’t breaking any laws.

  • Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

  • You sing along with the elevator music.

  • You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

  • You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

  • You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

  • You make an appointment to see the dentist.

  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  • Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

  • You’ve seen Halley’s Comet — twice.

  • Neighbors borrow *your* tools.

  • You answer a question with, “because I said so!”

  • You send money to PBS.

  • The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your pants.

  • You take a metal detector to the beach.

  • You wear black socks with sandals.

  • You know what the word “equity” means.

  • You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

  • Your ears are hairier than your head.

  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

  • You got cable for the weather channel.

  • You can go bowling without drinking.

  • You have a party and the neighbors DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT!!!